Thursday, January 31, 2013

Day 229 - several tiny thoughts

Today was fairly similar to yesterday except with different dinner companions. Yesterday I had dinner at Blue Moon with Tommie and Terry. Tonight, I am having dinner at Zampa with a bunch of palliative care doctors.

Both days included a nice time at work; yesterday, all hospice house, today, Norris Cotton followed by hospice house. As I think I've mentioned, I will be helping Dartmouth start a palliative care clinic that will be located in the Norris Cotton. It has been a long time since I've worked there and it is fun to be back. The doctors are completely different from when I was there before, but many of the same nurses are there and it is so nice to see them. I got to chew the fat, i.e., reduce their productivity, for a few minutes--just like old times. Not quite like old times, I still feel like I am not as good a doctor as I was before I got sick. I think it's just being "out of shape/practice," but I'm a little tired of it.

Speaking of tired, I am. This week, I worked four consecutive days and I would like to go to bed right now. Next week, I will take a day off in the middle of the week so I don't wear myself out so much. I had to ask someone else to see a patient that I wanted to see because I respected my non-infinite limits. I was not happy about having to do that. I might have been a little angry at the leukemia, both for showing up in the first place and for taking its own sweet time to slither away completely. When I feel that way, I try to remember that ultimately, I won and the leukemia lost, so I can be a little compassionate with it. Some days this is easier than other days.

For me, for tomorrow, I will wish for the energy to interact with a group of sixth graders in reading class in the morning and then to go to Boston in the afternoon/evening as a sixth grade chaperone. The logistics did not work out quite right here and I should warn you that tomorrow there will be no post because I'll be getting home so late. For you, for tomorrow, I will wish for convenient working out of all your responsibilities' schedules.

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