Monday, March 4, 2013

Day 261 - and lingers

Not much else to say. The virus lingers and lingers. I still sound like I should have quit smoking decades ago (except I never smoked) and feel like I have a fever (except I don't). I ventured out to get soup for lunch and to take Ellie to her first (!) voice lesson. I thought I would waste some time at the Durham MarketPlace while she had her lesson (her teacher is in Durham) and as I parked my car, I realized that I was feeling strongly anxious. I couldn't figure it out for a while, but then of course! college town, independent grocery store, next stop is 1West for a week of chemo. I guess I may have some not entirely resolved feelings about that experience. I was maybe primed for an emotional experience because it was Ellie's first lesson and I hadn't seen the teacher in two years since Emily went to college and I had some strong, proud kind of mom feelings about Emily singing so the whole thing just came together in the parking lot of the grocery store. These things, once identified, usually just wander away til the next time they ambush me so I was able to buy my salmon and pasta without them trailing me.

For tomorrow, I am going to hope for myself that enough of this stupid virus is gone that I can return to work. I don't think I'm asking for too much, universe! Show some compassion, please! For you, for tomorrow, I am going to hope you have a virus free day.

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