I saw another delirious patient today (that is evidently my theme for the week). She was much less delirious and could have a conversation and in fact doubted that she was confused at all even though people seemed to be thinking she was. I don't usually talk about myself with patients, but I told her that I had had cancer and that when I was getting chemo and my husband told me I was not thinking well enough to drive that that was really the worst thing for me. The more I tried to prove to him that I was thinking well, the more I sounded like a person who was not thinking well. She agreed with me and I felt her soften a bit and felt like she was willing to listen to me where she had not been so much before. I told this story to her nurse whose response was "Even you with all you know had a hard time with that?" There are some things that education and knowledge do not protect us from. I think for me the fact that so much that is important to me in my life happens in my head made the whole experience of not thinking well even worse. Evidently some famous person has talked about "a million dollar experience I wouldn't pay two cents for" and that is such a good description of the leukemia. I never understood how horrible not thinking well would be and I was just subtly impaired. I cannot imagine how scary the world must be when everyone around you seems puzzled that you are talking about the basement of a concrete slab building.
|This is a street in the French Quarter and don't you tell me otherwise.|
|Those powdered sugar deep fried beauties there are called beignet (said bin YAYs) and they are about as delicious as they look.|
|I loved the trees framing the old brick building and the new building under construction. Sometime I will learn to crop photos and then they'll be nicer. This was taken through a bus window in motion.|