Today at the hospital I ran into a couple of people who knew I'd been sick but didn't know with what. I had been as clear as I could be that it was OK to tell people what was going on, but not everyone got the message or maybe the folks I ran into were trying to be discrete. It's funny to think about what if I had cared very much that no one know my diagnosis. It is hard to think of seeing people and having them say "I noticed you were gone; you look so much healthier; thank God you're OK" and just saying "thanks." It seems a real part of the illness is the being re-integrated at the end part. It seems when people express an honest pleasure in one's being alive and healthy that it is a little cold to not give them a sketch of what happened. On the other hand, I remember how it did get tiresome to say the whole "I have leukemia. Chemo. Three more cycles." etc. routine. This feels very different. Perhaps my tolerance is higher because it's good news and it's kind of fun to say "I'm in remission and am expected to stay there" compared to the other business. Anyway, it's nice to see people and one day, everyone who knew me before I got sick is going to have greeted me and welcomed me back and then there will be a day after that (and another and another) when no one gives me a special "I'm so glad to see you!" I wonder what that day will be like.
Otherwise, today was spent working at the house, the hospital and then I went home and ran errands. Some college student is going to get a package soon and that same college student has a dog at her parent's house who has conjunctivitis. Also, we needed apples. I really like apples and Anica who is doing an integrative medicine fellowship tells me they are supposed to be good for people with leukemia. I am worried, however because if an apple a day keeps the doctor away, will I develop a split personality in an attempt to get away from myself?
This whole week, I have very little that is out of the ordinary on tap. However, there is always something popping up. The novelty of no novelty is something in itself.
For me for tomorrow, I will wish for the wisdom to enjoy plain, normalness. For you, I will wish the same.