Monday, February 25, 2013

Day 254 - I cannot even think of a title

Sometimes I feel I my life is written by some B-listed Hollywood script writer. It often feels like an overly dramatic, coincidence ridden narrative that would be good if it wasn't so packed with gratuitous coincidences and unrealistic drama. Today after getting to deliver good news to a palliative care patient at home, I thought I'd get my labs done early. You know, cut a day off the whole waiting for labs torture thing. I wanted them to add on some labs so I had to have a conversation with the lab tech and for some reason I don't recall and absolutely cannot recreate, he mentioned that his wife had died from breast cancer recently. Gosh, I'm a hospice doctor, she died in hospice, blah blah. He has a daughter the same age as my daughter. Gosh, my mom died from breast cancer when I was seven. Talk about his daughter, talk about my experiences a little bit. O, yes, you're here to have your blood drawn. We're drawing a CBC today. Yes, we're doing that because I had leukemia this summer. By this point, the two of us are feeling something--what is going on here? how did I get to be in the cubicle with this person who has the other side of a bunch of experiences I've had? How is the world set up to have drawn me and him together here today? There are times when you almost feel the brush of the timeless on your cheeks as it leaves the room, "My work here is done. Carry on, humans." We talked for a long while and I must say I've never had a blood draw be an emotional experience before.
Rereading the paragraph above, I see I said that he and I were drawn into the same place. I suddenly imagined a huge metaphysical syringe with the two of us drawn up into it together. Put in the metaphysical lab processing equipment to see what happens if we take a person with this life story and add a reagent. Which of us is the reagent and which the substrate? Or perhaps that is a false dichotomy.
At any rate, I am sitting here at the kitchen table, thinking about the emotional content of my day, waiting for Dr. Hill to call and give me the scoop on my platelets and white cells and hoping you have had a good Monday. I think yesterday I was hoping for distraction from my impending labs. I think I got my wish in trump suit.

Here is the best of the photos I took while driving this morning. I love the colors. A few miles further, the color scheme was pastel, but I didn't pull my phone out. I love the sun only on the tips of the trees on the left. What a beautiful state we live in.
For me, for tomorrow, I am going to hope for a totally normal day, one without any worries about blood elements. For you, I hope you can have a worry set aside.

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